You're Not COMPLETELY Useless
The easiest way to serve me is financially. Its that simple. No effort required. Click, click, click, and you have immediately become an investor in the circus. Its my preferred form of servitude. My big spenders get priority and privileges not afforded broke pasty-pastries like you. BUT. I UNDERSTAND some of you audience members are broke for whatever reason. Maybe you're very young, or retired, or your wife holds your balls and your checkbook in her purse. Whatever, being broke is NO EXCUSE. You are NOT exempt from servitude just because you're a starving street urchin, sucking on a stick for sustenance. Though money is my favorite form of tribute, THERE ARE other ways to serve me. You will have to work harder than my big spenders, but THERE ARE tasks you can carry out to contribute to the circus. There ARE ways you can be USEFUL to ME. I'm even going to HELP you with many suggestions, all of which will benefit The Greatest Show On Earth.
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