DROOL FOOL!
Did you think this time would be any different? Really? Did you actually think you could quit, gooner? You're even more of a fool than I thought. And today, you're the biggest fool of all. You took one look at that preview thumbnail image and now you're here. $15 down (to start) and rock hard, once again. Now sit back, grasp your goon stick, relax your jaw, let your eyes roll back in your head as you submit to My delicious, devious body and mind, watching my ahegao expressions as I mock you and your habit mercilessly, stick out your tongue, and DROOL, FOOL. Empty your head and fill it with Me. There is no escape from your addiction, from your compulsion. A weak, addicted, foolish gooner is all you are. You're not a man, you're simply a foolish gooning puppet. Tongue out, brain off. Goon for Dommelia. Don't think. Just do. Listen to My soothing, mesmerising voice, and stroke, stroke, stroke. Happy April Fools day, gooner.
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