Wake Up, Slave!
Yes, I know you where REALLY druuunk last night, but a promise is a promise! And you said you were "so in love with me" that you would doing "literally anything for me" and guess what I want? (YES, I am really taking you up on this! I even recorded it on my phone when we were at the bar so I' pretty sure it is legally binding!) I have decided that I want you you to literally be my personal slave. Yes, I mean it! I have always fantasized about having my own personal slave, so... Hey, no one made you profess your undying love for me- but you did. So don't be butt-hurt just because I'm holding you to your promise to "do anything" for me! Now get out of bed and get to work! I have a long day planned for you! Oh, and I have some surprises in store for you as well...You see, I couldn't help but brag to some of my friends about what you promised me, so...
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